I talk a lot in my speeches about how people bring their own work culture with them when they come to work in Denmark, but they also bring their own dating culture.

Dating the Danes: Are one-night stands the only way?

Lots of click seem to wonder who my husband is, by the way. If you look me up in Google, the predictive text after my name is… Kay Xander Mellish husband.

Apparently people are searching for that. But I am on the various dating apps, which is one of the two main ways people meet each other in Denmark these days — the other danish friend circles, which as an international can take a while to get into. People used to meet at work, but metoo has made a big imprint in Denmark. I do see a lot of the Danish version of status-seeking, which is time off and the ability to travel to exotic locations and engage in extreme sports — lots of windsurfing and scuba-diving photos.

You can have known each other for three weeks or thirty years. You can certainly buy a home and have kids without being married — the Danish government will even pay for your fertility treatment. But — back check this out the beginning. For the first date, you do danish have to buy anything impress them. Flowers, poetry, a fancy restaurant — this will make a Danish person very uncomfortable.

Dating tend to make them uncomfortable. I tell internationals that a first date in Denmark can always be a walk in nature and a cup dating coffee. Or a beer, if you prefer. Whatever it is, turn off your phone, give the other person your full attention, and talk. In Culture, time, particularly free time, is the most valuable thing anyone has to offer another person. Just a note, it is standard on dates for each person to pay for their own coffee danish beer or even dinner.

I know in some dating cultures, the woman expects the man to pay for things, make her feel like dating princess, maybe plan the date and choose the restaurant, open doors, pull out chairs, and generally take the leading role.

Denmark does not have these fixed gender roles to the extent many other cultures do. These family events are click long meals consumed at long tables set with a lot of Danish flags. You will probably be seated next to your partner on one side, but next to annoying Uncle Henrik on the other, maybe across from Grandma Bente, and you will be expected to sit there and be entertaining for several hours at a time. This is a bit easier if you speak Danish. Otherwise, the general attitude is — hey, glad you two are happy together, now get a room.

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That goes for same-sex as well as opposite-sex relationships. Culture, transparency, trust. But culture in Denmark is tricky. There can be a few awkward hurdles in trying to get there. Kay Xander Mellish is a writer and a keynote speaker on Scandinavian culture. She is an American living in Copenhagen, Denmark.

When you get here, you will meet Danes who have very different expectations. So, in the name of economic development, here are my tips on romance in Denmark. So, people are a lot more cautious around their colleagues these days. You could go on and get married danish some point if you like.

Many people in Denmark culture. A Danish first date But — back to the beginning. Gender roles undefined Just a note, it is standard on dates for each person to pay for their own coffee or beer or even dinner.

This lack of roles means you can basically define your dating relationship the way you want it. Family events These family events are generally long meals consumed dating long tables set with a lot of Danish flags. February 6, by Kay Xander Mellish. Previous Post Next Post. Learning Danish through song lyrics October 2,