As a major K-pop fan, I pursued the dream of immersing myself in Korean dating by temporarily migrating to Korea when I was just 19 years old. For the next 8. But one thing I never planned for was dating a Korean man.
Learn to Read Korean in 90 Minutes – FREE!
Until it happened. With my ex-boyfriend after a dance performance. At first, he was just a normal batchmate but we got closer through a performance later on. He was good at dancing and I was amazed by the fact that he could speak English and even a little Chinese, skills he developed from studying at an international school overseas.
Naturally, I started dating myself attracted to him. Back then, my Korean was not the best and it was nice to know someone who spoke the same language as me. Together with friends from our dance team. The most memorable time was when he walked me back to the dormitory where I was staying. I definitely gave him brownie points for his efforts and that was when I realised, we were becoming more than friends. I could still remember that it was the end of the semester when he confessed to me.
Despite it not meeting K-drama levels of flowers or a handwritten letter, I still agreed to be his girlfriend. Since it was the first relationship for both of us, everything felt fresh and confusing at the same time. But things began to flow naturally and I decided to take things easy. Putting the age factor aside, I noticed how he seemed more open-minded and always ready to try out new things as compared to other locals his age, man made me fall for him.
However, we agreed on calling each other by our names and it felt like I was dating a same-aged friend instead. Photos of my ex-boyfriend and me on various dates. We began dating like any other normal couple and indeed, there were moments when I felt like the female lead of a university-themed K-Drama like Gangnam Beauty. After classes, we would hang out korean school, occasionally bumping into friends and getting teased by them. On days when we had dance practice, we would squeeze in time with each other during supper or through a short chat before returning home.
We fulfilled so many typical Korean dating fantasies. Among the many dates that we went on, my favourite was when we decided to have a picnic by the Han River with fried chicken obviously. I got to enjoy the river breeze and hang out with my favourite person. Most of the time we went dutch as back then, we were still poor university students. But while our wallets might have been close to empty, our hearts were full.
Many interracial couples would usually find themselves having language barriers and cultural differences, and we were no exception. As mentioned earlier, I was rather lucky as my ex-boyfriend could speak fluent English. Yet most of the time, we communicated in Korean. There was no specific reason behind the choice of language, but it was the best of both worlds. Interestingly, he would argue back in English too.
Soon enough, I found myself adapting to the Korean dating culture as well. Supporting my ex-boyfriend when he had korean external dance showcase.
To me, it was an eye-opener because it seemed korean though society in Korea really placed an emphasis on being in a relationship. Perhaps because of such societal pressure, I noticed many Koreans getting attached as quickly as they would break up. On top of being a couple, we even downloaded a couple-exclusive app, Between, which is another common occurrence among couples in Korea. It lets you create special albums and note down some of the precious memories made with your other half.
Jou Teng Tan
Since we were only in our early twenties, there was no pressure about us getting married. Us being tourists at Gardens By The Bay. On the contrary, he stayed with my family when he came to visit me in Singapore during the school holidays.
Initially, he was surprised that my parents were cool with him staying at my house and even wondered if it was alright to do so. That was when it hit me that there were definitely some slight cultural differences between us. That never occurred to me before, since I spent the majority of the relationship with him in Korea.
Now that he entered the environment that I grew up in, signs that we were actually two different people began to become clear. Visiting my ex-boyfriend when he was in the military. As I began to realise our differences, another calling I had no control over threw our relationship a curveball: the military.
The news of him having to serve his mandatory military service in this web page air force left me feeling understandably sad. And to make matters worse, he voiced intentions about breaking up with me as he heard many of his friends breaking up with their girlfriends before they entered the army. I was stunned by the reason and thought it was ridiculous.
Talk about peer pressure. I told him that I was really fine with waiting for him and we continued dating. For the next 6 months, I visited him about once every 2 weeks and was excited every time he booked out. In between the visits, I wrote him letters telling him how much I missed him and even made a video of us touring Singapore. Yet soon enough, I noticed how I was the only one putting in the effort to maintain the relationship. He began to lose interest and I tried everything I could to fight for the relationship. He apologised and mentioned that he would try to improve too.
Man a moment, I thought things were getting better but it was just false hope. The worst part? Any resolution had to be in the form of text messages since we were physically apart. In the end, I initiated the break up, concluding our 1. He did not even try to win me back and agreed with the decision. It felt as if he was waiting for me to end things and it made me wonder if I should have ripped the bandaid off way earlier.
It was only a year after when we saw each other again during a dance team gathering, that I was finally offered some peace. During that time, he asked to speak to me privately and apologised for how he treated me.
While the apology was too little certainly free online dating hawaii for late, it finally gave me closure to move on. I guess when it comes to dating someone from another country, the best thing you can do is make each other feel at home. Along the way, I also found myself man more cautious and sensitive about the things I said or did.
I think it is perfectly fine to be yourself in front of your partner but it is also important to err on the side of caution for choices of words. Looking dating, there were occasions when I felt offended by the way my ex-boyfriend joked about certain things. For example, he casually mentioned it was easier for me to enter university as a foreigner. Only after pointing it out to him did he become more cautious too.
Date someone because of who they genuinely are as a person, and not because of their ethnicity or nationality. Although my ex-boyfriend and I made up, we no longer keep in touch. Instead, I focus on the other wonderful memories we made. Through this relationship, I can say for sure that not all Korean men are similar to those portrayed on screen. At man end of the day, they are just men, not other-wordly gods. Instead, we should view foreign partners with open mindedness and that their cultures make them who they are.
After all, mutual respect and communication are huge factors when it comes to making a relationship last. All images courtesy of the writer. This article was first published on 6 September and last updated on 27 November Receive news, promotions and more from Zula. We create daily content about beauty, fashion, dating, and stories of everyday women. To submit a story or advertise, drop us an email at hello zula.
Follow us on Whatsapp for the latest updates Follow us on Telegram for the latest updates.
10+ Shocking Facts About Dating A Korean Guy
By: Jou Teng Tan Tags: dating korean guykdramakorean boyfriendkorean oppaoppa. Jou Dating Tan I love bubble tea and serving tea. Stay up to date! Name Your Name. Korean johnsmith example.
Zula YouTube.