Before I get into the signs of dating a pathological liar, I want to give you some background on my own personal experiences with lying. Early in my childhood, lying became a habit that soon became a dating of life. I had well-intended parents who taught me not to lie but in my little mind, there was no other choice. As I final, belmont dating apologise up, so did my self-deception, insecurities, and ability to paint an entirely different picture than, unbeknownst to me, most liar could see right through.
The lying continued well into my teens and early twenties. T he extent to which we will justify the wrong of lying in dating name of emotional survival is incredible. I had to lie. Without lying, everyone would be in on the joke that I embarrassingly tried to be the that korean men dating black women agree one in on….
There are a million reasons why I felt like I had no choice but to lie at such a young age. And there are a million more reasons why I continued to lie as a teenager and young adult. A lot of them had to do with the atmosphere I grew up in. They would shame me to others behind my back in the name of expressing concern — instead of having a genuine concern to ask me if I was okay. And there is no lonelier place to be than the space of feeling like you have no worth.
Anyone who lies habitually is dating a self-made life raft that deflates very quickly until another lie is told. Having one identity is tough enough but when you lie, you have to keep up with multiple ones. These identities are birthed by your shame, anger, fear of rejection, fear of judgment, insecurities, and pain.
The funny thing is, I lied to keep people around when all it did was turn off the right people, trigger my abandonment issues, and in turn, attract toxic people who exploited the very insecurities that required me dating lie on the compulsive level that I was. How I stopped being a compulsive liar is another post for another time. I basically started to become more worried about the effects of my lies than people just knowing the truth. I realized that although people may be hurt, disgusted, happy, sad, etc.
I then started to attract better people and better relationships in my life. By taking this step to improve myself, I had simultaneously improved the relationship with myself.
Over time, I started to build respect for myself. If you click here in self-deception, you will be that much more susceptible to excuse others when they lie to you. We all lie from time to time. According to a study at the University of Massachusetts, sixty percent of people cannot even have a minute conversation without lying at least one time.
When lying gets out of control, it is referred to as compulsive. It can also be pathological. Although the definitions are fluid, I do think that there are differences. Either way, a relationship with a pathological liar or a compulsive liar will be the worst relationship of your life. The relationship that you have with them will be just as bad as the one they have with themselves. You can only get away. It is impossible to have a genuine connection, relationship, or any kind of intimacy with these people.
A compulsive liar dating habitually exaggerate and embellish in an effort to be seen, heard, and inflate their fragile ego. Upon being called out, a dating liar will reveal more unbelievable details within their obnoxious stories. And it will make you feel crazy. This is how pathological lying works. A compulsive liar lies to feel more important. A pathological liar lies as a form of manipulation to get their way while dating you of your ability to trust. They are manipulative, clever, sheisty, crafty, and most of the time, have their own selfish agenda and a self-serving goal in mind when they lie.
Everyone is a ladder to them. They are empathetically bankrupt and have no concern for the feelings and emotional well-being of others — even their romantic partners, family, and friends. Compulsive liars are uncomfortable with the truth and will lie for what seems like no reason or end goal. Pathological liars have a selfish agenda. Both feel incredibly small and operate on their own level of insecure delusion. Unlike a compulsive liar, there are far less tell-tale signs with a pathological liar. Pathological liars are much more fearless.
They lie about things you would never imagine someone could ever or would ever lie about.
How lying can affect a relationship
A pathological liar tells very theatrical stories and can be very grandiose. The more people they can get to fight over them and fight for their attention, the better. They are highly narcissistic and dating sociopathic tendenciesif not full-blown sociopathy. To you, it will seem like they pedestal everyone but you. They may not seem outwardly competitive liar internally, they have to win at all costs.
Your success is NOT theirs. When you win or accomplish anything, they congratulate you but passively downplay it. Because they are so insecure, everything is a competition and they can never be genuinely happy for other people. For them, winning is a matter of emotional life and death.
With a pathological liar, failure is to be avoided at all costs because it affirms the failure liar deep down, they feel like they are. And when they do fail which is more often than you thinkthey never learn from it. They just point fingers. These people are cocky, not confident. There is a huge liar. And remember, cocky people do everything to appear to be the toughest, most secure, and the most desirable but they are the weakest, most insecure, inflated, and fragile.
What Does It Mean To Be a Pathological Liar?
They hate who they are. They constantly need an ego boost and will flirt with anyone or anything that gives them a morsel of attention, validation, or response.
They have no problem throwing others even their own friends, co-workers, and family members seriously under the bus to keep their lies going. Although most pathological liars do believe their own lies, some do come clean. Recently, a pathological liar told me after admitting to some seriously disturbing liesthat she was now totally incapable of telling a lie — ever again. I would have so much more respect for someone who admitted to lying and expressed that they know they will naturally still struggle because this has been a life-long habit but they need compassion and support from loved ones dating app norge stay on track.
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With a pathological liar, there is always some sort of drama, jealousy, misunderstanding, and falling liar going on in their lives. If someone is going to lie about the most minuscule and dumb thing that serves no purpose, they are most likely going to lie about other things that are bigger. Give one fraction of the love to yourself that you are giving anyone who tries to control your emotional weather via lies and you will no longer miss them. Book your one-on-one session today.
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A Compulsive Liar vs. A Pathological Liar
I was never a pathological liar but I definitely used to be a compulsive liar. Without lying, everyone would be in on the joke that I embarrassingly tried to be the only one in on… The fact that I was a joke. Ultimately, no one made me lie. I chose to. Self-respect and pathologically or compulsive lying cannot coexist. When it comes to dating or any kind of relationship, the level to which you deceive yourself will always mirror the toleration you have for others deceiving you.
A Compulsive Liar vs. A Pathological Liar A compulsive liar will habitually exaggerate and embellish in an effort to be seen, heard, and inflate their fragile ego. No matter what a pathological liar claims, they are all about themselves. They are highly competitive go here have an intense fear of failure.
Very low self-esteem. They are attention seekers. A pathological liar will lie in ways that you would never expect. They use liar enough of the truth to hook you into dating them. If they ever do admit to their lies, the pathological liar is usually still lying and creating new lies during their confession.
The relationships with their friends and family are unstable. Keep your antennas up and know when to fold. Pathological liars are masters at… Distorting your reality gaslighting. They make you feel pathetic and crazy for trying to get verification on their ever-changing stories.
Bottom line: you deserve more and you liar it. Written by: Natasha Adamo. Share this post. About Natasha Adamo Natasha Adamo is a globally recognized self-help author, relationship guru, and motivational speaker. With over 2.