Everything that follows applies to men who self-identify as Muslim. An insistence on maintaining the Islamic label suggests some level of attachment. This attachment to Islam could be religious or cultural. It could be nominal or substantive. The attachment might be out of fear, love, or even confusion. You either like a challenge or you like learn more here used.
A religious life requires practice.
The religious person chooses to abide by an ancient and immutable code, leaving behind some things and embracing others, often in man to prevailing what norms. The acolyte does not care muslim fashion. We approach the Infinite through actions that are timeless. A man grounded in his identity as a Muslim will not spend time alone with you. Your muslim will be public. You click the following article meet his parents.
A Muslim man is not private with his social contracts because he understands that accountability requires scrutiny. If you are open to this, enjoy. You might not swap spit, but you will exchange ideas. No games. Clear intentions. He understands that he is sacred, you are sacred, and everything that transpires between you is instructive. You can only grow.
But we are not all grounded. You will be used for your company and your body. You are not Muslim and when you are ready for next steps he will have a number of very difficult conversations ahead of him, with his parents, your parents, and his faith community. You were easy, a distraction from his existential musings and a release for his masculine tension.
There are only two ways for him to address this:. If you find yourself in this situation, cut and run. Even if you embrace his faith, as a woman of integrity you will have little respect for him. Too much water under the bridge.
Some uncertainty about identity and spiritual trajectory is normal for younger men. You are dealing with a lack of maturity. If there is significant familial and social gravity pulling him deeper into his Islamic roots, your relationship will be called into question as he matures.
It may be that your own identity is malleable enough to expect with him as he begins to more fully man religious life. That could be nice. Prepare for a break. Of course, women mature earlier dating men. If so, let him down easy. See above, especially the part about keeping things public. A man unwilling to keep to the courtship protocols of your shared faith is impulsive and inconstant and will make a lousy life partner. You are entitled to any reasonable request.
He will either pay it, or save up for it, or decide that you are not the investment that he wants to make. Talk to him about divorce. Is he open to marrying a divorced woman? Tease out the biases early.
We all want what we want, but be on the lookout for discriminatory views that stigmatize people for an outcome that is a recognized possibility in every married relationship.
Want more Salams Says?
Ask him what he thinks is a fair severance package. Is he open to you initiating a divorce? Does he sympathize with men who hold their wives hostage by refusing to religiously dissolve the marriage? What are his thoughts on counseling and mediation with family or professionals?
Considerations for Marrying a Muslim Man
Ask him about his thoughts on polygyny. Click it may not be what you are looking for so air this out early, understanding that circumstances change and so may his views.
Neither should you feel compelled to share your past sexual history. Get your father involved early. Men will see things in other men that you might miss.
Dust and Tribe stages a number of coed adventures to strengthen the platonic bonds between sexes for this very reason. We need to look out for each other. Do us a favor and share your tips and warnings in the comments below. One of the items noteworthy is the selection of partners as potential parents for your future children. Guidance is from Allah, and knowing that you and your partner will be tested in their faith expect crucial, especially during the butterflies stage. Ultimately, raising our future umma responsibility rests in Muslim men and women.
Speaking from experience, the heartbreak we may experience when we are challenged initially is nothing compared to the heartbreak felt when our children are confused and tested in their own identity as Muslims. The suggestion I have for my own daughters is give it three years. Get through the honeymoon period before having kids. Husband-material may not be father-material.
I am a Muslim and I am looking for a woman.
1. He feels uncomfortable when you talk about marriage
I do not care if she is a Muslim or a Christian. The reason for marriage is my religion. It accepts me to get married, and marriage is stability and forming a family. If this is a secret arrangement, it will be emotionally and logistically dating app better than the experience of a mistress and we highly discourage this. There can be no trust in a relationship that is predicated on lies and illusion.
Your email address will not be published. Skip to content. Are you a woman swooning over some Muzalicious hottie? This post is for you. There are only two ways for him to address this: His way or the highway. Michael Fenton Muslim Women See above, what the part about keeping things read more. Sign up for one.
You might meet someone nice. Salam, Agreed. Can I get your advice? Do you have any advice for women being pursued by a Muslim man seeking a second wife? Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email dating will not be published.