So, the big question after the big C was how the heck was I going to figure out dating without breasts, peace of mind, any confidence at all, and a load of new scars?
You fill out questions about yourself — likes, dislikes, hobbies, kid count, status of single or divorced. Then you talk about what you are looking for in a significant other, right? So here we go:. I am I have never been married. I have no kids. I have PTSD and anxiety. Dear future suitor, will that be a problem for you?
I am Dana. I have two after you can believe I am a crazy cat lady if you want. I have PTSD and anxiety, oh, and I carry those cancer fears around in site extramarital dating imaginary backpack that is attached to my back. If you are a survivor or if you are close to someone who has been affected by dating, you know cancer drill.
Cancer can take physical body breast. Cancer can take peace of mind. Cancer can take control of everything you do.
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And worst of all, cancer has been known to take the life it attacks. Cancer also likes to take that confidence you should have in yourself that you are worthy enough to find a significant other. Like I said before, I was never great at dating, but cancer took control of how I felt about myself. I have completely convinced myself I am not worthy enough to date.
I was 32 years old at the time and I consider it to have been the prime of my life, at least before my diagnosis anyway. I spent 4 long, painful years living in an extremely raw, emotional state. I feared cancer so much I would rub my body raw looking for lumps. I finally started seeing a therapist because I was sinking so deep into my PTSD and anxiety over cancer that I could barely function.
To the outside world, Breast played the part of a healthy, normal single woman in her thirties. I created online profiles on Match. I would blow off questions from friends, family and even my therapist about dating I was coming along on the dating journey.
Great actually! Lots of matches!! See how I quickly change the subject in regards to my so-called dating life? All of it was lies.
The Art of Dating After Breast Cancer
Okay, not bad lies. I dating you could call them white lies, right? But I really did fill out dating profiles and swipe for the profile that interested me. I would send a greeting to a match and do the whole online thing…. In my mind, I could not bring myself to go that far. What is the issue with actually meeting a match? After at all. However, my thoughts were so negative and I had such horrible self-talk. It would go and on. The bottom line is I let my cancer history run the show. It took lots and lots of conversations to get myself to understand this fact.
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Um, I may have already tried that. My advice in terms of dating after breast cancer is at the rookie level. Do what feels right for you and by all means, take the advice cancer receive from friends and family. If you are not ready, you are not ready. There cancer no timeline that you must follow. Test the waters. When you are ready, you will know it.
Put that you are a breast cancer survivor in your profile. Honestly, I see nothing wrong with either.
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Do with it as you will. Embrace who you are. As I have said, cancer likes to take, take, take. It can take away your perception of you ONLY after you let it. After diagnosis and treatment, survivorship was the toughest challenge in her cancer journey. Hi, I Had Breast Cancer. Wanna Date? So here we go: breast am Dana. Cancer is a Taker Like I said before, I was never great at dating, but cancer took click at this page of how I felt about myself.
A breast cancer diagnosis and treatment can bring a mixture of emotions, including anxiety and depression.
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