After all, there seems to be an unspoken rule that such drama is best avoided. But recent life events involving my best friend and my ex-husband have taken me by surprise. When I arrived at her place, she asked me to sit down for the news. I obliged, feeling like a patient about to receive a terminal diagnosis. Silently, Nina took her seat opposite me. I caught a twinge of apprehension in her grey eyes as she tried to read my face. Her wariness was unnerving me. Nina sighed and looked down for a moment.
You have a tendency to behave hysterically sometimes. Her words stung because I disagreed with them, but I tried not to feel offended. Friends, I kept my voice even, despite my skyrocketing pulse. You can tell me. Nina fastened her hand over my wrist. Her manicured nails rested on my skin. Nina took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She carried on speaking to me without re-opening them, as if she was too overcome with emotion to look at me.
We saved each other. We have this spiritual connection. She grabbed my hand and led me to where the other girls were playing hopscotch. After that, I looked for Nina in the playground every day. We survived high school and several drunken college years together.
Her friendship saved me.
Is it ever okay to date your friend’s ex? We asked a couples therapist
In my early twenties, after my childhood sweetheart left me, it was Nina who coaxed me not to give up on life. She stroked my hair while I sat naked and broken in the bathtub, contemplating a packet of razor blades. Later, following my first abortion, I sobbed all over again into the soft familiarity of her body. She nursed me out of the depression that plagued me for months afterward. Say what you will, but Nina was my rock throughout the years.
I saw her as a badass lioness of a woman. Her tough motherly love and strong moral compass made her my hero best guiding star. I must add than Nina was more than merely a comfort in my sorrows. We shared plenty of good times, too. When I married my partner Jayden inNina was the maid of honour at my wedding. She also caught my flowers in the bouquet toss. Meanwhile, I cheered her on as she rose through the ranks at her friends firm, securing raises year after year.
When I chickened out, Nina spilled the beans in a phone call to Jayden. That revelation prompted him to file for divorce. Sitting in friends kitchen, listening to her words, I felt a strange, new emotion toward Nina. It was suspicion.
For a moment, I felt tempted to throw best hissy fit, to accuse Nina of some long-standing plot to take my husband from dating. I gave him up myself the day I cheated on him. Indirectly, I created the circumstances that led to Jayden being available.
The more matchmaking a drag in the world, the better. If Jayden was happy with Nina, visit web page she with him, then such news warranted joy, not anger. Besides, Jayden and I were never right for each other. I knew Nina would be friends better partner to Jayden than I had ever been. Sure, it hurt to hear Nina implying that she and Jayden saved each best from me.
But if she felt dating way, why should I take issue with her truth? In reality, my infidelity had traumatic consequences that affected everyone in my life.
After I cheated, I kept it a secret for two years and used alcohol to numb my guilt. I was a wreck the whole time, yet I was too drunk to see how much I was distressing everyone close to me. Maybe Nina and Jayden were able to support each other at a time when I could only offer them best. The best "best" I could possibly say about my infidelity is that it had the unexpected outcome of bringing two well-suited people together.
Six years may not sound like a long time in the grand scheme of things, but Jayden and I had a relatively short marriage. Many of my open wounds had already healed and closed.
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I had no desire to cling to the past. In fact, one might argue I never loved Jayden as much as he deserved. In a way, I felt glad Jayden was showing signs of moving on. If a new relationship will in any way diminish the pain I caused him, I want him to experience that relationship. That man deserves all the love the universe has to offer him. Both dating parents died when she was nineteen.
Indeed, some dating my other friends have told me that Nina meddled in my marriage with malicious intentions. But will she make a better partner to him than I did? I may be well within my rights to accuse Nina of foul play. With my history of infidelity, I know just how messy relationships can be. All that matters to me is the present.
Nina played an important role in my divorce
If my best friend and my ex-husband are destined to have a happy relationship, I choose not to hold it against them. This post originally appeared on Medium and has been republished with full friends. Leave a comment. This post deals with this web page and might be triggering for some readers. Post continues below. Evangeline Grace. Listen Now. What did my love life have to do with anything?
It intensified as Nina continued. She opened her eyes to gauge my reaction. I met her at school in February I was standing shyly at the edge of the playground. Nina was my maid of honour I must add than Nina was more than merely a comfort in my sorrows. But before my anger took hold, I realized how ludicrous that would be.
If Nina and Jayden ended up falling in love afterward, did I have anyone to blame but myself? Good matches ought to be celebrated And in dating case, why was there a need to blame anyone? Thinking of it that way actually makes it a little easier to forgive myself for it. Enough time had passed since my divorce. I got divorced in April Nina broke the news about her relationship with Jayden in I was genuinely over Jayden. I wanted both Jayden and Nina to be happy. Did Nina want Jayden all along? Feature Image: Getty.
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