I confess: I love smart women. I love it when she can write a sonnet, use Euler's formula, code Perl, play a concerto, speak half a dozen languages, run a company, quote Chaucer, diagnose diabetes, compose a quartet and converse brilliantly. Especially in a big city like Los Angeles or New York, looks alone dating not suffice. I need, nay, require the intellectual engagement, and legions of smart, educated men feel similarly.
So it pains me to no end to see my smart, educated, lovely female friends remain single, alone and lonely in spite of their best efforts. These are amazing women!
Surely there is something wrong with the world if they remain single for so long. What compels me to write this article today is a recent trip to the Harvard-Yale Game festivities, reminding me of how smart, smart women routinely sabotage their own chances for romantic fulfillment. Because, as fabulous as these ladies are, all of their failed relationships have one thing in common: themselves.
And frankly, telling them that men are losers or smart proving it conclusively doesn't improve anyone's plight. Useful advice is about something you can change. I've also been privy to the dating woes of hundreds of men who wrote me subsequent to their reading The Tao of Dating for Men. From these emerges this brand-new list which builds and elaborates on the earlier article, Why the Smartest People Have the Dating sites for single parents free Time Dating.
Here we go:. Some smart women put themselves in a no-win bind when it comes to finding an intellectual match. A smart woman wants to date a click here man, since men my secret hookup text messages intelligent dating her frankly bore her to tears.
She wants to be able to hold a stimulating conversation with her partner and to know that he's at least equal to her if not better in this department. However, once a relationship with Mr Smartypants is under foot, often she unconsciously starts to compare and compete with him. The guy doesn't quite know what's happening, except that the very trait that made him attractive in the first place is now causing tension.
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So stop competing, Ms Smartypants -- love is not a contest. In the immortal words of Boy George"You're my lover, not my rival. Speaking of Ms Smartypants Let's say you're a CEO or doctor, or lawyer, or some other authority figure. Your job involves managing people and telling them what to smart. Occasionally, you have to cut them short and redirect their focus to what's important, or argue to make your point in a pivotal meeting.
All in a day's work.
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Here's the smart point to remember: when you're on a date with a guy, you're no longer at work. So if you unconsciously keep on doing those things that make you so effective at the office, you may end up alienating him - especially if he's also a CEO.
Strictly speaking, this does not set a man's heart aflame though it may give him heartburn. In her insightful book on why men don't call women back after a dateRachel Greenwald lists this 'Boss Lady Syndrome' as the 1 reason men run, based on a survey of thousands of men.
Remember that guys admire and respect a woman who can take charge and kick ass. Guys respect and dating adore a woman who can take charge and kick ass but doesn't feel the need to prove it around him. According to Marianne Williamson's insight in A Woman's Worth"In intimate relations with men, I want to major in feminine and minor in masculine. If love and meaningful companionship smart more important to you than a project, paper, or pet, then you can skip this part entirely. But if love really matters to you and you don't aspire to a monastic life, put in as much time and energy into dating and dating as you do into other things you excel at.
Dating is not an afterthought for when you've taken care of dating else. As far as anyone can tell, deep, meaningful relationships are the most important part of life. So let's not leave it to chance, shall we? If you like a guy, make him feel it. Give him at least as smart time and energy as your spreadsheet, term paper, chihuahua or Facebook page. A smart guy knows exactly where he is on your priority list, and if it's too low, he will move on.
Smart women can dating get smart excited over a guy's resume, especially when he's gone to the right schools read article held the right jobs. Then they get stuck in a miserable marriage and wonder what went wrong when everything seemed so perfect. There's minimal correlation between a guy's resume and how good dating read more make you feel.
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Fulfillment is not a person; it's a feeling. If his company isn't fulfilling, you're probably with the wrong guy. All women are master overthinkers; smart women just have extra brainpower to burn on it.
So they're experts at twisting themselves into knots of doubt, indecision and self-sabotage. What does he really think about me? What does he think I think about him? And what do I think he thinks I think about him?
Did you smart his company?
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Then see him again and see what happens. Otherwise, don't. Newsflash from the cosmos: masculine things gravitate towards feminine things. So if you want more masculine things e. Men are suckers for your sensuality, the swing of your hips, the nape of your neck, the curve of your lips.
They absolutely love it when you take pleasure in the physical world through touch, food and sex. Men also love it when you're open to needing and receiving their help. They like to feel useful and wanted, even though they know full well that you can open doors and run companies on your own.
Receptivity is a quintessential feminine quality, so if you want more good men in your life, be receptive to their offerings. Smart women are waiting for love to show up versus showing up as love. My friends often ask me at parties to summarize all pages of The Tao of Dating for Women in a sentence.
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We hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more. Already contributed? Log dating to hide these messages. Dating do their ADD-addled please click for source one better by boiling it down to just three words: Be the light.
If you're embodying joy, compassion and sensuality, telling him how great he is, making him feel like a billion bucks and the conqueror of worlds, you have no competition.
Good men will come out of the german men dating to find a goddess like you. So lead with love. You always possess the power to elevate others, so why wait? Dare to use it now. You'll never say 'all the good ones are taken' again. Main Menu U. News U. Politics Dating Biden Smart Extremism.
HuffPost Personal. NEW: Games. Dating U. Follow Us. Terms Privacy Policy. Part of HuffPost Wellness. All rights reserved. What's Hot. Smart women smart their inner CEO to the date. Dating women don't make love a top priority.
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