Graham is over six feet tall. He has a beaming smile, and the kind of charisma and hong that is hard to ignore. He is an economist who recently moved to Hong Kong. Unwilling to relocate to Asia, his long-term girlfriend ended the relationship, which frustrated but also liberated Kong. He is now free to dating a single life in Hong Kong as an expat. In the dating scene of Hong Kong, heterosexual expat men like Graham enjoy a certain privilege but also a certain prey: Asian women. It caters to those who might be intrigued by his knowledge of tea and Japanese and Chinese languages and calligraphies, or by his non-aggressive photos, such as one of him reading in a coffee shop—rather than photos of him working out in a gym, which is what most male kong put in their profile.
We started chatting and arranged scene meet for drinks. I was both surprised and sorry.
Dating in Hong Kong as an Expat
I had no idea. This is Hong Kong. Hong Kong has long been known for its transience. As a financial center without political autonomy, it is a capitalist utopia for the global super-elite, full of opportunities for those who have no intention of settling.
This quality of Hong Kong once prompted the literary scholar Ackbar Abbas to assert kong the city has always been, and will perhaps always be, a port in the most literal sense—a doorway, a point in between.
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Hence it makes little sense for transients to invest anything major and permanent, emotions included. Against this backdrop, romance has always been strange. Ina set of reforms that gave Beijing greater control over local elections sparked the Umbrella Revolution, a massive street protest that shut down core parts of the city for more than a month. This space was never enormous: the patriarchal traditions of southern China, with dating emphasis on family piety and male dominance, have long dominated Hong Kong.
In the colonial era, these traditions were often embraced by Hongkongers as a form of opposition to British rule, and their power continued uninterrupted in the twentieth century.
By contrast, in mainland China a wave of unrest during the s and s—the New Culture Movement, the May Fourth Movement—culminating in the Communist revolution of weakened the grip of old Confucian customs. The result is that traditional patriarchy is much better preserved in Hong Kong than in major mainland cities like Shanghai.
Etiquette and Rituals in Hong Kong Dating
But the patriarchal turn under Chinese president Xi Jinping has introduced a new element. As Chinese state policy increasingly promotes "scene" gender roles, Hong Kong is feeling the effects. The term refers to unmarried women who are over twenty-five. Although the phrase originated in mainland China, it gained popularity in Hong Kong very quickly. InBride Wannabes kong, a reality just click for source featuring single women hong to find suitors with help from matchmaking companies, beauty salons, and dating gurus, became an overnight sensation.
The show stigmatizes singlehood and puts pressure on women hong get married. Some matchmakers will even bluntly tell their female clients that once they reach the age of thirty, they will be charged more and put on a different list. For women who are striving to lead a meaningful professional life, it is often difficult to find a partner.
In such a gendered and capitalistic market, Hong Kong men value looks above other criteria, while women tend to pay attention to education, profession, and whether potential matches appear serious about wanting to commit—a dynamic that once again reproduces family-focused, male-dominant arrangements. Yet people in Hong Kong look for love as avidly as anyone—perhaps more avidly. For those who log into those dating regularly, the feeling of knowing there are a few good ones out there, if only in the form of glorified profiles, gives them some sense of comfort.
They also create a comfortable and safe distance between the user and their object of affection, and between such affections and oneself. John is a hong originally from England. He seemed interested in my research, and we talked continue reading dating and living in Hong Kong. I told him that I was surprised to see that many of the app users were looking for potential clients for their own business, be it personal fitness or organic food.
I had recently discovered this firsthand. And what are you looking for? John laughed when I told him this.
We are the products as well as the commodities. The first night we spent together, something unusual dating, at least for Hong Kong, where personal space and personal time are priceless: he stayed. In the week that followed we kept in touch.
Disappearing City Ting Scene. Products and Commodities John is a barrister originally from England. And I never heard back from John again.
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Ting Guo is a scholar of religious studies and writer based in Hong Kong. To order the issue, head on over to our store. Scene receive future issues, subscribe.