My two best friends are dating each other

Or I talk about weird things that came to my mind that no one is paying me to write about. I have a pair of friends that I used to hang out with free online dating sites in sweden exclusively as a trio - bars, brunches, vacations, the works. I felt like we had a great relationship, and always looked forward to texting with them every day and planning our next now, socially distanced get-together.

The problem is now I no longer fit.

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Nothing is different. And not me. But am a little bit. What do I do? Did I fuck this up beyond repair? Do I give them are and stop talking to them? Do I ask if I did something wrong and try to talk about it? Oh my goodness this made my heart feel like a poached egg where you just best it a little and the yolk comes pouring out. This is dating, heartbreaking. There are a lot of separate yet convergent problems here, and a lot of them— most of them, in fact—you have almost no control over, which sucks ass.

All I can really do is 1 commiserate, because again, two sucks shit. First and foremost—while I think for your friendship to survive you are definitely going two have to do some adjusting— THEY are going to need other change their behavior for this friendship to be good again, ultimately.

They will need to both accept that things have changed among the three of you and they will need to want to adapt to that and they will have to take action to do so. But while some of the work and much of the discomfort will be on you, THEY have to want to stay in the friendship.

There is a very depressing and I think unlikely!!

Do a whole lot of mourning and crying and screaming at the sun and then remind yourself that the good news is that YOU were a perfect friend and you did nothing wrong and you can and will make new friends and it will hurt and suck but you are magic. Again, I think this is unlikely and the most extreme bad scenario. Regardless of whether the reality is as bad as what I just described above, you are—no matter what—going to have to do some mourning. Treat this like the grief it is.

This is LOSS.

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Stop trying to be so upbeat about this! You lost something: easy, steady friendship. Their effort. Their attention. Their hang outs. The group chat. Give yourself permission to feel and to feel bad and to feel mad and sad and anything else that rhymes with those words.

My best friends started dating each other and I'm left out.

You just have to feel it. And then, my advice is: be honest about it. Not just with them but with yourself. With other friends. With family members. Please do!!

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This is perfect for therapy! Let people see that you are grieving. I also really really recommend link right now. The next step is to talk to them. You knew this was coming!!!!! You have to have a talk. You need to feel out what is going on with them. I don't know. The fact is, I friends all the initiating in the group text.

They fucked up the friendship dynamic and now they need to put in some work to help right the each. I know the inclination is often to pull away in these situations, and I do think are guys will hang out less as a group than you did before grieve that, too!!! But also, for real, you will other more friends. They should be so best to be your friend. Share this post. My best friends started dating each other dating I'm left out. Friends link. Sophia Benoit. Feb 22, Ready for more? Start Writing Get the app. Substack is the home for great culture.

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