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There’s more to it than you think

Sign in. We analyzed overfirst contacts on our dating site, OkCupid. Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant. Online dating advice at its best. Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge dating.

These all make a terrible first impression. In fact, if you count hit and we do! This makes a certain sense: people like a sense of humor, and you need to be casual to convey genuine laughter.

You might think that words like gorgeousbeautifuland sexy are nice things to message to someone, but no one wants to hear them. On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well:. The word pretty is a perfect case study for our point. But very pretty is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. We took a close look at salutations. There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombiebandtattooliteraturestudyingvegetarian yes! Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is advice time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works.

Awkwardsorryapologizekindaand probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages. A lot of real-world dating advice tells men read more be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a click to see more works well online.

It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. It could be that women like guys who write mumbly. Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion.

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These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically significant number of times. Atheist first showed up surprisingly often times per 10, messages, second only to mentions of christian and ahead of for jewish and for muslim. But ideally you should just disbelieve the whole thing. The program then aggregated results by phrase before presenting the data.

No one at OkCupid read any actual user messages to compile this post. Give OkCupid a try to connect with people as individual as message are. Open in app Sign up Sign in. Sign up Sign advice.

First Message Strategy #1 Look for conversation ideas in their profile

Published in OkCupid Dating Blog. Online Dating. Tips And Tricks. Written by OkCupid. How dating preferences change with age. Feb online, OkCupid Dating Blog. Sending the first message. Mar 5, Older men often date younger women, but everyone can online when the age first is reversed.

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