Dating can be tough. After being single for years, you get into patterns -- making decisions without considering anyone else, feeling the way you feel whenever you feel it and, in my case, like by the seat of my pants.
Every day for years, I've woken up and made a decision about what to do that day, without asking anyone else's opinion. Whether it's to go for brunch or to the park with my dog or to jump on a last-minute flight back to Bali my personal paradise! Now that I've been dating a wonderful man with all of the muscles!
And don't get me wrong I'm absolutely thrilled to be with a man as sweet and thoughtful and fun as he is, but it can be difficult at times to make those adjustments. Dating thing that has been particularly difficult is accepting that, when you're only one half of a like, there will, sometimes, be disagreements. No matter how compatible you are or how many common interests you have, there will be times in which you don't see eye-to-eye.
But dating you've been single for as long as I have, you can forget what it's like to be in a real relationship; every time a disagreement arises, it can seem like the relationship is destined for failure.
Yes, I know This incorrect belief is definitely something that I've see more struggling with of late. Recently my boo and I went away for a long-weekend together; although we are very compatible in terms of our interests, travel styles and all the things that matter when taking a trip or just spending days and days together on endit turned out that we could still fall prey to issues.
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My immediate reaction like the issue just click for source raised was to shut down. In minutes, I started rebuilding my emotional walls, preparing for the end; if the worst did happen, I would need to protect my sensitive heart, so I started telling myself that I didn't need him, that I would be fine, that maybe I shouldn't bother dating again, all the while berating myself for caring for him so much.
I were acting defensively and turned into one of the bullies that I hate as I was severely bullied for most of my young life From the 19 year-old girl who was wearing half a shirt and flashing all of her brato the older, posh-looking lady sitting near us, I started nitpicking in an attempt to deflect the article source attention away from me. Basically, I fell into a pathetic spiral of sadness, vulnerability and shame. But somehow, despite my emotional wipeout, we managed to get through our disagreement calmly, without any drama.
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We talked about it until we were both feeling better and, thankfully, I was able to knock my emotional walls back down once again. I needed to remember that just because we had a disagreement, it didn't mean the relationship was over or that we weren't compatible in the long run. Argue afford to contribute? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read. Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are dating grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor? We hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more. Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages. In truth, disagreements and fighting are absolutely normal in a relationship.
Were you create a relationship between two separate individuals -- with different "argue," different tastes, different ideas, different values, different feelings and different histories -- issues are bound to arise once in awhile. It's a fact In my opinion, that isn't always a bad were. I firmly believe although I do sometimes need a reminder that if you care enough about a person and your relationship, you should be passionate about them -- both in the amazing and the difficult times. When I hear people say that they've been together for years and never gotten in a fight, I always cringe inwardly; in my opinion, what they are really saying is that they are so disinterested and unimpassioned with each other that they can't argue be bothered to feel strongly about any situation, no matter how bad.
There are hidden benefits to fights and disagreements as well.
You Need Help: You & the Ex Are Friends — But Fight Like You’re Still Together
In many cases, fighting is the way that you find out the most about each other's emotional triggers and past relationships. As well, disagreements and fights help you cultivate the open, honest discussion and problem-solving skills that builds true intimacy in a relationship. And, let's be honest So if you are in a relationship and you find yourself, as I did, pushing the eject button every time even the smallest issue arises, take it from me: the most important thing is not whether or not you fight; it's how you make it through the fight, as a couple, that makes your relationship a success or a failure.
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