The other day, at a Fashion Week party, my friend Alan and I stood against a wall, scanning the room for hot people, as you do. I told him that, at 31, the realization was probably a bit overdue, but I knew what he meant: As one gets older, it becomes harder and harder to be attracted to someone simply because of the way they look. Or perhaps we become more acutely aware of the impermanence of beauty after experiencing our own signs of aging? While some people clearly feel proud to have man hottie on their arm, others are more comfortable having the upper hand in the beauty department.
Millie and I lived together during our early and mid-twenties, and at the time, it felt like every other week she had a new model boyfriend. Most of us, at some point in our lives, have hung posters of models and movie attractive on our bedroom walls.
Theme, dating icons not no matter how much I love my partner, I still occasionally masturbate to Tony Ward.
Dating an attractive guy has made me insecure
And, according to economist Daniel S. Hamermesh, author of Beauty Pays: Why Attractive People Are More Successfulthere are also many economic benefits to looking good, from higher wages at work to getting better deals on loans. But according to Millie, all of this unearned praise and attention can present problems in relationships. Attractive just constantly needed validation. The attraction felt almost indefinable, relying on everything from their looks and style to their mind and profession, to the smell of their skin and the very of their voice.
Deep attraction is, of course, a multisensory experience. Case in point: A couple years ago, I dated a writer whose work I really admired—he was kind and intelligent, we got along wonderfully, and the sex was good, too.
However, he was bald and a little shorter than me, and ultimately just not that hot. It never bothered me when we were alone, but as things got more serious, I began to feel nervous about introducing him to my friends.
And I expect the same from my friends.
Breathless: The Pitfalls of Dating the Freakishly Attractive
And usually, this exchange is heavily gendered. Howard Marshall, in the practical world, this very rarely happens. Well-educated people want to date other well-educated people, and the beautiful are man to their beautiful counterparts. As for Millie, after years of dating models, she eventually had to cut herself off. As I get older, I naturally want to be with someone who can do more than look pretty in a picture. It makes sense. As we grow up and become more dynamic, intelligent people, we expect the same from our partners.
To me, good talkers are beautiful because good talk is what I love. Talkers are doing very. Beauties are being something. Which isn't necessarily bad, it's just that I don't know what it is they're being. It's more fun to dating with people who are doing things.
Have you considered the drawbacks to dating an attractive, masculine man?
Save this story Save. Most Popular. By Emma Spedding. By Christian Allaire. Dating Leah Faye Cooper. Karley Sciortino writes Vogue. She is passionate about sitting down, lying down, and movies with love triangles.
