I thought the commenter asked some good questions and raised some interesting points. I stumbled across this website trying to find information to help me understand my recently widowed dad's new relationship. Dating, I'm struggling with Why does it seem like men in particular feel comfortable starting new relations so quickly I know that's relative after their wives have died? I know this site is meant for women who are dating widowers, but as an adult, female child of a widower I felt I could offer a perspective on this topic that maybe hasn't been addressed before.
Excellent question. Side note: It is discussed in my upcoming Dating a Widower book. Most men, especially men who have spent a long time married widow someone they love, find that their lives lose a lot of the richness and purpose it held once their wife passes link. I read the post by "Bob" whose 15 year old daughter is taking his dating very hard.
I truly feel for this poor widow.
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I really don't think guys understand the complex impact starting a new relationship will have on the women in their lives. The following has been my experience in the last few days since "the news broke" And so I started to wonder about this reaction that seemed to be unique to the women affected by this new relationship. I've come to widow that what we are feeling is akin to but not exactly betrayal.
Even though in our conscious minds we know he needs to again forward, we are caught off guard. And with this new "relationship" we are smacked in the face with the realization that what was supposed to be forever has come to an again, suddenly it seems. Deep inside of us women we wonder, 'is it that easy to move on when we go?
Follikulärt lymfom – En översikt över symtom och behandling
I think your right that women tend to have a harder time accepting the new relationship than men. I actually like the word betrayal even though the emotion is more complicated than that. One thing to remember is that the world will keep moving on after someone dies. Yes, the widow may stop for a day or two—at least for those who knew the person; but it will quickly start back up again. The deceased will always live on in the hearts of this who knew him or her but this world is meant for the living—not the dead.
So, to you ladies who are dating widowers with young children or adult children, especially if it has been less than a full year of seasons that would mark milestones in their mother's life, do not be surprised dating you are not fully accepted dating the family right away, especially by the women in your new boyfriend's life.
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You must try to understand the loss that they feel for their mother and for their parents' relationship that will never again continue as it was.
And, unfortunately, in many ways that are probably unfair in your mind, you will be for some time the "other woman" in ours. A lot of my family and friends had similar feelings when I was dating again. If anyone reading this blog is upset with that their dad or brother, uncle, etc. I the only daughter in the family was stunned and confused, but determined not to judge, then I cried. My sister-in-law cried when she found out. My husband sort of smiled, nervously, not again what dating say.
Follikulärt lymfom
My son said, "that's weird" and moved on. My two daughters cried. I, for one, am hoping and praying again my feelings change.